What to expect at a colposcopy

I thought it would be useful to give a run down of what to expect at a colposcopy (seeing as I’ve had a ridiculous number of them in the past few months).

You will be most likely referred to have a colposcopy after an abnormal smear. This does not mean you have cancer – just that the smear found cells that are abnormal or pre-cancerous.

So, at the colposcopy clinic, if you have a good clinician he/she will explain what will happen. For me, I was asked to strip from the waist down, put a white paper sheet over my front and lie on my back in a special chair.

With my leg up in stirrups, they opened my vagina with a speculum. At this point I squealed because it REALLY hurt – I told the clinician this and she swapped it for a smaller one which was more comfortable. This should all be familiar from your smear test.

The clinician will then insert the colposcope which is a tiny camera on a stick, essentially. I had the camera screen to my side where I could see it as well. Although I decided not to after a while!

A solution will then be applied to your cervix – acid or iodine, I think. It didn’t hurt, strangely I couldn’t really feel it. This solution should show up abnormalities/lesions.

At this point, I had a punch biopsy (three at one point!). It was a sharp pinch as they removed cell samples from my transformation zone. This is when it started bleeding and I couldn’t look at the screen. I had a wonderful nurse who held my hand throughout and talked and talked to me. REALLY helped at this point.

To stop the bleeding, they put on a substance called Monsel’s Solution with a cotton swap. This really pushed against my bladder and was when I felt the urge to pee more than ever. I always got worried at this point I was going to pee but the clinician always reassured me that I wouldn’t. God knows if I did or not!

The solution will stop the bleeding but will lead to discharge for less than a day afterwards (for me at least). It’s a discharge a bit like coffee granules!

It also means you’ll have tummy pains similar to period cramps. So bring painkillers and sanitary pads with you.

And that’s it. No sex or tampons for a few weeks either (and no douching, but who douches really?). The sample can then be sent off and you’ll be called back for follow up smears if it’s a low grade abnormality or treatment (usually LLETZ or a cone biopsy) if it’s a higher abnormality. If it’s worse than that, they’ll discuss treatment with you and your individual circumstance.

I’m sure that I got some facts and names wrong as I’m not a gynaecologist, and I’m sure everyone has different experiences – for example, I know some women have their colposcopies under local anaesthetic. But this is my experience and I hope it helps someone.

Top Tips for Visiting the Colposcopy Clinic

Hello there, I’ve had a particularly shit day after discovering I’ve been ‘bleeding between periods’. Now this is one of those things that is meant to set off alarm bells so I ended up panicking and ringing NHS Direct. God bless them. They told me to calm the fuck down and see my clinician if it gets worse. To be honest, after five biopsies and two smears in a few months, I’d be surprised if my vagina wasn’t bleeding all the time.

Anyway, here are my top tips for visiting the colposcopy clinic. These tips also work for attending a smear test, which is like a less fun version of a colposcopy (as you cannot watch it on the TV next to your bed).

1. DO NOT cycle to your appointment: you may be thinking, yes clinic is only down the road, quicker to cycle, excellent. But I assure you, you will be pushing that bike back. Ouch.
2. DO bring your own sanitary towels. NHS sanitary towels lean more towards the Pampers end of the scale. I forgot my own pads on one visit (I’ll be honest, after two colposcopys and two smears I thought the last thing they’d need to do was go up there again) and I was forced to wear one of these beasts. Under my leggings. Then cycle home. Not good.
3. DO NOT Google after your visit. You will, inevitably, have to wait for the outcome of your biopsy/treatment and the last thing you need is to Google all your symptoms and the long words the clinician said. This will inevitably lead you to a horrific question posted on Yahoo! Answers with the title “Is it normal for my vagina to smell like fish after a colposcopy?”. And don’t Google image search. That’s even worse.
4. DO take advantage of your situation to make your male boss feel incredibly awkward. Some times you just really need to make the most out of a shit situation. And one of the few joys I’ve had over the past few months is saying the word ‘cervix’ over and over again to my boss.
5. DO NOT under ANY condition watch what is going on on the monitor. I made this mistake during my first colposcopy and the only thing I could think of was a certain famous speech by Enoch Powell. It REALLY does look like a river of blood.

Happy colposcopys! x